Pink Floyd owe me

I don't know why this should suddenly come into my head, but the first single I ever bought was Sandie Shaw: Puppet on a String. Of course I have spent the last umpteen years telling people it was Blackberry Way by The Move, but it wasn't.

The first album I ever owned was Sgt Pepper. It was given to me by a friend called James Macdonald who had been given two for his own birthday (11, 12?) and kindly passed one on to me. I didn't tell him that we had not the means to play it. He now is in America. Perhaps it was my ingratitude. I was unaware of music, and had no idea who the Beatles were. I never really caught up with them. As far as I was aware the only entertainment in the whole world was Radio 4 or live theatre. One of these was A GOOD IDEA, and one of them was a complete bore.

Now of course I am unable to miss The Archers for more than a few days, without getting severe abdominal cramps and a strong desire to ring my mother.

As a consequence of my sheltered upbringing, my copy of Sgt Pepper is virtually unplayed and has all the inserts and everything intact and almost untouched. The corner has been a little nibbled by woodworm, but that only makes it look like a Traffic album (they were always farting about with the cardboard on their sleeves, viz Low Spark of High Heeled Boys). I soon widened my scope from Eurovision songs. I failed entirely to buy Congratulations.

Telly didn't arrive until I was in my teens, and by then I had a little stereo, and had developed better taste (than Sandy. Although I manage to retain every annoying word in my head. It's as good as La La La by Kylie. Eye-eeee, wonder if one day that you say that you love me madly I'd gladly be there like a puppet on stri-ing).

I have no recollection of what my first album purchase was, but I suspect it was David Bowie (Ziggy) or Elton John (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road). And I would say it cost £1.20. I had an allowance of £6 per month (guilty absent father) plus of course obligatory top ups when the bank said I was overdrawn (shouldn't have been a guarantor should you, old chap!).

Since then I have amassed a little over 600 albums on vinyl and CD. Some are duplicates. With the advent of iTunes I now have duplicates of those too, on my Mac. And they say musicians are worried about royaties.

Can I get a refund from each of those 'artistes' whose work I have bought in more than one format? This is only partially a joke. Some I have had on Vinyl, CD, MD and now MP3 or 4. Santana, Bowie, Pink Floyd, Stones and others - you owe me money.

Stand easy.