"Fuck right off" I think.
She's already told me off once for parking at a slight angle, and the beloved for daring to park aside her verge rather than our own while it was occupied with builder's vans and the like. There are no parking restrictions in our road. No yellow lines, no traffic wardens and nothing to stop us parking anywhere except across people's gates. Which she hadn't.
Oh, there is one problem: stuck-up, jumped-up neighbours.
"Completely" I actually said. I have a 12 year old son, I thought, get a life.
"It is my intention to lower the tone of the road as far as I can", I added.
It isn't. But I wouldn't mind her having a few sleepless nights.
And do you know something: the flag was on the car for a grand total of twenty minutes while we popped in and got something, I forget what, and rushed off somewhere else. He'd just
bought it with his pocket money and I for one think it's great that he feels enough about England and the World Cup to want to show our loyalty. It's not just restricted to white van man you know.But I don't want his flag nicked. So I was thrilled yesterday to find a magnetic badge that I can leave on the side of the car. It cost me a whopping 99p. Worth every penny if it keeps my neighbour's curtains twitching.
Jumped-up middle-class cow.
Should I tell her now that I have a Tottenham one for the new season?
11 comments:
ah! finally a post about the footie (or was it about something else?)
have you see the adverts on phone boxes that read "Enghurland Enghurland Enghurland" followed by the don't drop litter icon in your neck of the woods. . .
(i) does being in the world cup mean we are more conscious of dropping/picking up litter (thought it was being held in Germany anyhow?)(have BT posted similar ads on phone boxes in Germany, to remind the Enghurland fans abroad how to behave?)(who uses phone boxes nowadays, anyhow?)(seriously, I know not everyone has mobiles, but I remember the days when phone boxes had queues outside them)(OK, so a I'm middle aged old crone)
(ii) if there was such a phone box near you, would it lower the tone of your neighbourhood?
(iii) is there less litter on the streets thanks to BT's gentle reminder of our civic duties?
(iv) would you pick up someone else's litter, whether you/they support Enghurland or not?
(v) what has football got to do with litter anyhow, or conversely, what has litter got to do with football?
(vi) what's it going to be like when the Olympics hit the country?
(vii) why not try spray painting your hedge and verge with the St George's flag - just for a laugh, like; actually don't, because it might be bad for the wildlife
(viii) ask her if she flies the flag for royal events
(ix) everytime there is a match, decorate your car with flags from the two competing teams
(x) send her a Sven Goran look-a-like strip-a-gram, she's obviously very sad and needs cheering up; realise how happy and well adjusted you are by comparison; next week give Shonte double the pocket money, so he can cause twice as much havoc
;-)
You lost me at the verge. I feel violated and pissed off when people park on my loverly grass verge. Don't think pedestrians like it much either, especially the 4x4s that occupy the entire width. And since I live next to a bend, I am then dicing with death when I back out of my driveway, blind to any vehicle that might suddenly zoom around the corner. It's been close a couple of times. I have been sorely tempted to put the pop-up sprinklers on so they have to ring my bell or get wet. In the end, I emulated my neighbour and sited sizeable stones in such a way as to prevent anything wider than a human being from parking there.
Could you get a cheap bagful of flags, line your fence with them and tell her it's part of life's rich tapestry?
Dave - just for clarity, I meant on the road, but outside her house, as oppposed to one of our other neighbours houses. I didn't mean actually on her grass. I too go apoplectic if people park on the grass. No, I meant parked totally legitimately and tidily, on the road outside her house. Anyone can come and park there, but just because she knew it was us, she decided to tell us off.
And everyone else: she's a shrink you know. I'm not sure what she'd make of all your plans and ideas.
There's a whole post in there about how assertive shrinks always are. What do they know that some of us (me for e.g.) don't?)
DCI: I'll read your comment when I've got a coffee and am not just rushing in...
DCI. Phone Boxes. And those are ....?
(i) Ingerland match = more litter. See (v).
(ii) Pfah! Yeah.
(iv) yes no maybe
(v) beer cans, pizza boxes, kebab bags, chip wrappers etc.
(vi) OmiGodIcan'tbelieveit
(vii) Very proud of my (new) hedge. It's a rose. Pink by nature, which can't be helped. But OH loves it. Girly sort.
(ix) see Tottenham Hotspur flag (and kit mascot hanging in rear window)
(X) BAD BAD idea - precedent etc. Double pocket money. Gah!
As word ver says, what do you think I am a Mugkot?
I am going to take my camera and go around to my friend's house and photograph her neighbour's house and email the picture to you, beep
the friend's neighbour is a sports journo for some paper or other and has a double-fronted many-windowed house, with the flags of almost every country playing in the cup hanging out of different window
well, maybe not every country - but there are a lot of flags!!
and very jolly it is too
actually, I like mig's rich tapestry of flags idea. . .
and here's another:
why not get some of her Morris Men, sporting the red cross on white background face-paint and waving flags instead of bells on sticks, to dance around outside your house everytime there is a match?
or her house, even (not mig's, the psych lady)
I can't wait for the picture. Makes me think of those people who at Christmas go just crazy with flashing Santa and Reindeer and so on...
I was delighted to see last evening and this very morning that a car next door to her, on the other side, was sporting an England flag. We've got a pincer movement going on.
how crab-like
;-)
Hi beep! Your neighbour sounds obnoxious!
hope you're enjoying your new abode otherwise.
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