Oh my God I don't believe it, (I've never been this far away from ...)

So. God.

I was reading LC the other day. I think it's fair to say that he and I don't see eye to eye. At least I don't suppose we would for a moment. I am in no danger of him ever reading this because he, to my knowledge, doesn't visit here. Maybe he came once or twice in the early days, but, if he did, he finds me infinitely boring (well, der!) and completely lacking the edge he seeks everywhere (sooooo tiring, dear). Sensibly, he excised me from his list of possible places to lurk. So I am in no fear of him finding out that his post has set me thinking. Nor that we are in almost complete agreement. Almost. But as ever, I am further from the 'edge' than he. I enjoyed his post, but, alone, it was not quite enough to tip me into actually writing.

Then, this week, I tried to help someone. Nothing too drastic, but they were, and still are, strangers and I held out the hand of friendship in what I supposed, and hope (despite what is to come) was a Christian way. Anyway, my motives were pure. Someone had made a mistake and my intervention helped them recognise the error before it damaged them. And honestly, the scream of invective that resulted was quite something to behold. I recognise that this person was motivated by fury at themselves, not me, but I took the brunt of it. However, for once, maybe the first time, I rose above it and just said I was sorry, I hadn't meant to cause offence. And, to my surprise, that was an end to it. I suppose you might say I turned the other cheek. None of this is faintly interesting, or even very surprising. But the weird thing is, I kept thinking of being a vicar throughout the couple of days this tornado of fury endured.

And that's weird, because like LC, I don't believe in God. I'm even a signed up member of the Secular Society*. I want God removed entirely from politics, just as he (the concept) plays no part in my life at all. There must be, soon please, a clear and wide division between the state and the Church. How ridiculous is it that everyone is up in arms about the House of Lords, yet no one is up in arms about a bunch of loonies who believe in some ancient Middle Eastern folk tales having a significant (but waning, hoorah) influence on our lives? Just because they believe in an arbitrary concept that has been called god and risen to some standing within that organisation? To me it's a nonsense: how can anyone, in their heart of hearts, if they think about it, really believe in a great "designer", a "creator" of the universe and our world? Palpably, it's ridiculous. And it's been proven time after time, by people like Davy Hume and others.

That's my view. But.. oh yes, there's a but. Isn't religion, and religiocity a wonderful thing? The most stunning art has emerged from the most fervent (and indeed fevered) believers. I adore Church choral music, no, not hymns, but chant and plainsong. I am in awe when I see the work of great devotional artists (post 12th century through: can't be doing with all that flat, naive work, myself). If you haven't caught up with Simon Sharma on a Friday evening on Beeb2, you are really missing something. Why, sometimes I will even go into a church and sit and think. But, believe me, it ain't about god and Jesus. It may be to marvel at some piece of work, it maybe because I am hot, it maybe because I just need five minutes in an empty quiet place.

Mainly, of course, I am talking about the products of the Christian faiths. As it happens, I am well travelled in Christian countries but woefully badly travelled otherwise. And of course it's also true that we, well I, marvel at the products of pre-Christian times too. Greek architecture anyone? Roman mosaics, and so on? But they to were inspired by religiocity of their kind, until they, the Romans, invented Christianity, that is.

So there's my dilemma. Hate the vehicle, loathe the journey, love the destination. And also, I fail really to see how we can separate teaching about religion from the education of our children, although I'd like to. But learning a few hymns does no one any harm. I went to a school at a time when religious mores dictated the timetable to a far greater extent than they do now, and it failed to turn my head. It's nothing to do with that. It's plainly obvious to me that there's no such thing as god that I am slightly puzzled by people who think there is. Not to the point of excoriation, but just a complete inability to understand where they are coming from. But then that's true of quite a lot of stuff. Like Mr Angry earlier in the week. I don't understand where he was coming from either. But who's to say he's wrong? I probably handled it badly. But not as badly as a lecturer I once heard who had deep religious convictions when, being asked by a youngish student who was nervous in front of maybe 100 people, some question about people who did not believe in god, replied (I paraphrase, it was some time ago) "The case for God is utterly proven, if you don't believe it it's up to you to prove everyone wrong" and that was it. He was so wrong, so completely wrong, not just in the way he hammered the young ladies confidence, but in his reply. The case for any god is anything but proven. In fact I'd say it gets weaker by the day.



* Interesting bunch the Secular Society. They go about their secularism in a particularly devout way, with a certain fervour, one might say. I don't do fervour.


PS . You do believe? Well that's OK. You're allowed. In fact I'd even go so far as to say that although I can't understand your belief/faith whatever, I'm impressed by the fact that you have it, and would die protecting your freedom and right to it. Keep on believing. Just don't expect me to. It's never going to happen.