My mum has a new friend. He's called James. they met in the queue. I don't know what they were in a line for: nothing in her life requires a queue, anyway, apparently he tapped her on the shoulder.
"I know you. I experimented on you when you were 6 or 8" He said.
"Gosh, so you did" She replied. How splendid that she had instantly recognised him, she told me. He is a most educated man and has the most marvellous facility with language. He helps people get to grips with new ones so quickly.
"How interesting Mum, how does he do that?"
And when she tells me I realise that of course this is the way forward. Its so simple I don't know why you, or I, haven't already thought of it.
The technique is to drill a small hole in the back of the person's head, and that allows the language to flow in easily.
Only flaw I can see in the plan is that a mm or so to the left and you might end up with Portugese when you were hoping for Spanish.
"He's asked me if he can experiment on me again soon"
"What did you say?"
"that I'd think about it"
"Shall we see what's on Telly, Mum?"