What! You come here expecting goodwill to all? Sorry, you've arrived at the wrong blog because I'm pissed off today and so I'm going to tell you what the biggest problem is with Christmas.
It's enjoy, that's what. Not the word when it's used in context, "I hope you enjoy this new (name of gift here) and ...yadda". But the word when it's used as an instruction. Enjoy. Like that. With or without one of these!
I was going to keep this for later, and fulminate about round-robin letters too, but in today's Times, Penny Wark (Penny Wark, for goodness sake!) ends a comment on the new Dr Who, David Tennant, by saying what a fine actor he is, and then ruins the whole thing with "Enjoy". Her indifference and laziness has tipped me over the edge. Actually, Penny Wark, if you think David Tennant is a good actor, that means you think he thinks about his work and applies his craft well. How come you can't, then, be bothered to apply these standards to your own work? And if you can't, are you fit to give us any kind of opinion, least of all a critique, of a fine actor like David Tennant (it's a rhetorical question, Penny, love)?
And then there is the person who gives you a box of chocs and writes "Enjoy!" on the card. Not, "have a lovely Christmas and I hope you enjoy these (rather stale old chocolates that someone gave me last year but I'm watching my spot count)", just "Enjoy".
It expresses such indifference towards the reader, "you are of so little interest to me that I can't be bothered to think of anything interesting to say so I'll resort to tired old Americanisms because my brain is ticking along in neutral when I'm actually supposed to be thinking about you".
It's use devalues everything that precedes it. So now I think Penny Wark thinks that David Tennant is actually a bit of a tosser. And that the person who has put Enjoy! on one of my gifts is a lazy, self-obsessed fool.
As it's Christmas: you have a nice day now, you hear!
4 comments:
oo-er, it's a bit scary in here, isn't it?
*Patroclus makes mental note never to use the word "enjoy" as a standalone exhortation in the beep's presence*
I'm a very warm cuddly person really. think of me as your friendly (cyber)neighbourhood teddy.
all I can say on the matter is that if someone wrapped up the new Dr Who (the old lover boy and the recent rather nasty son from HPATGOF)in a big ribbon and deposited him somewhere within my vicinty with the word 'enjoy' tatooed over his forehead. . .
. . . I think I'd follow the instructions to the letter; that's:
e for edible
n for naughty
j for juicy
o for outrageous
y for yum-yum-yummy
(god, I do hope we are all talking about the same person here, or i cold have landed myself in rally hot water. . .)
of course that was supposed to read: 'I could have landed myself in really hot water'
(no wonder noone employs me as an editor anymore)
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