Nothing. De nada. Niente. All I got in the post this morning was the soddng Boden catalogue. So I checked The Times valentine messages and got the same number as always. See above.
They once asked for my views, so I wrote back to Boden and asked them to stop sending me their catalogue. I said there was no way I wanted to be labelled as the kind of person who wears their clothes. It's all so sloaney. OK, so once upon an income I may have bought a couple of things from there. Actually their classic blazer still looks smart about ten years on, and yes, OK, one of their sweatshirts remains a favourite. But I can't bear that cute contrast colour thing they do. And as for it arriving on VD, I'm speechless. Anyway, at my level of income there is about as much chance of me buying anything from there as there is of the postman popping back in ten minutes and dropping off six Valentine cards that he's found at the bottom of his bag.
Update: he didn't
He said, as he sat here in his new blue V-neck T-shirt that cost £2.50 from the new Primark.
16 comments:
They keep sending me emails offering "£10 off your first order.." or "10% off your next purchase". Then after a while these turn into emails entitled "Was it something I said?" trying to make me feel guilty for not ordering a moleskin wrap skirt or a velvet-trimmed cardigan.
Be off with you Johnnie Boden! Come back in ten years!
bloody johnnie bloody boden and his cheerful "come on now, sixty-five pounds is a reasonable price for a cardigan" bonhomie.
and damn them for making gorgeous yet horrifically expensive kids clothes.
now i think of it, it's the whimsy of the boden catalogue that grates on me. bloody people. do i care that bloody jocasta wanted to be a spaceman when she grew up? no i bloody don't.
i am a little grouchy this afternoon.
Hi Pash: I HATE his bonhommie and manipulative faux chummie marketing. Somehow knowing that he's a thick failed city boy makes it worse.
And Surly, so nice to hear from you: sad to note that you have read it! No wonder you are in such a grouch. Imagine my surprise some years ago when I turned a page adn saw my sis in one of his shirts. She used to be a model.
My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you’re my favourite work of art
Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?
But don’t change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentine’s day
Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?
But don’t you change one hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine stay
Each day is valentine’s day
xx
*mwah*mwah* (or is that just too sloaney, even for today?)
oh yeah, I know what I wanted to say. . .
years ago I once filled in an online survey, telling johnie bloody boring boden why I didn't buy his clothes - guess what, the box wasn't big enough (reminds me of these comments, I digress - so I phoned head office, and told them directly instead
think they gave me a £25 credit, which I don't think I've spent yet
they haven't taken the hint mind, still send me the cringing catalogue with his whining and wingeing notes of despair - I'm sorry, Johnie Boden but who wears trousers that end about two inches above their ankles? I mean, don't you watch Trinny & Suzannah? how many of us are as luscious as Audrey and recreate that look successfully without feeling twatish?
(there was a longer rant here, which I deleted when I realised I was not speaking to Mr I've-been-in-the-Weekend-FT-spouting-on-about-how-I'm-taking-over-the-world-Boring-Boring-Boden directly)
sorry
and the really sad thing is, the Boden stuff will probably last for years, but the Primark stuff will probably shrink in the wask, if it hasn't already
mind you, at that price, you can afford to go shopping again next month
actually, I stopped buying boden because it shrank in the wash - now I remember. . .
(god, however many people sang that song?) here's another version:
Be hold the way our fine feathered friend
His virtue doth parade
Thou knowest not my dim witted friend
The picture Thou hast made
Thy vacant brow and Thy tousled hair
Conceal Thy good intent
Thou noble upright, truthful, sincere
And slightly dopey gent
You're my funny Valentine
Sweet comic Valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you're my favorite work of art
Is your figure less than Greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?
But don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little Valentine stay
Each day is Valentine's day!
(like the dopey gent bit? I did, but I'm casting no aspersions, son't get me wrong, not today - oh no - not today!)
It's words you forget
to anniversary songs
bottles bite back
your tolerance wrong
your good intentions count for
little anymore
if you're sorry
why wage war?
not fully convinced
something wrong with this
could another point of view
biased and untrue
tear me away from you
will you be my
valentine
if i'm a world away
apologies
are breaking me
the constants aren't so
constant anymore
two days i wait for calls to come through
tonight for me translates yesterday to you
you bend and you wave
you're barely away
i wish i could say tonight
that when you bend and wave goodbye
you'd take me
with you
will you be my
valentine
if i'm a world away
apologies
are breaking me
the constants aren't so
constant anymore
will you be my?
(valentine)
will you be my?
(valentine)
if i'm a world away
(from a world away)
if i'm a world away
(from a world away)
the constants aren't so
constant anymore.
(who are The Get Up Kids, anyhow?)
alright, even I have run out of patience googling Valentine lyrics now
hope you had an OK day, despite the lack of post!
♥
P&P
I had never heard of Boden until the other week when someone asked me if that's where I got the top I was wearing.
Er, no. It was Sainsburys.
I guess I'm not part of the Boden demographic.
there was a *streaker*, wearing nothing but *jewellery*, a *sucker* for *curiosity*. . .
under a *golden*, *cloudless* sky it was a *testing* time during The Beep's absence
*sigh* DCI thought, that *stink*s
(was just keeping myself amused in your absence by writing a comment based on the titles of your recent posts)
(and of course that ties in with all the Boden commentary here already - streaker/Emperor's New Clothes/AKA Boden overpriced tat etc etc)
any post today, Beep? (I mean the VD letterbox kind, not the Bloghomie kind. . .)
nothing
I have to confess, I've been to the Boden clearance sale which is held at a showground up the road from me. There ain't no way I'm paying full price for their stuff and I have complained at the regularity of their catalogue mail-outs which started after I bought, what must be said, is a pair of the most beautiful girly shoes that I have NEVER worn.
so, does it only count as a Valentine if it came thru the old-fashioned letter box in an old-fashioned envelope?
Yup. And with real spittle on the sticky bit ...
could an evil villain get someone's DNA off that, the spittle I mean (is that the same as saliva, BTW?), and then set them up for some amazing crime where the coppers had direct DNA evidence linking innocent person (with alibi) to crime. . .
the evil villain could call their crimes The Valentine Conundrums - in fact their day job could be as a post(wo)man (not delivering VD cards, but stealing the sticky strips instead). . . now, is this plot better or worse than whatever that disgruntling book you are reading at the moment is about?
word ver: xxjax
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