Not big, not clever (may contain swearing)

Never let it be said that I don't go on and on about something. It gets very irritating for the people with whom I live and, if you can be bothered, is about to get so for you too. And like all good ranteurs*, I'm just going to spew my angry venom onto the page and not bother to check my facts or anything. This is opinion, not journalism. You want better? Go buy the papers.

And I apologise in advance if I swear. I don't know if I will, but suspect I might and I'm sorry if I do, especially to Dave, who, I believe, is above such things. As we all should be. It's sheer laziness, but as you will have seen from above - the no checking bit - I am not here to be accurate, truthful or clever. Just to rant.

Also: this is written in beta, and beta-blogger is very buggy. Such that what you see is no longer always what you get. Fonts in the wysiwig editing screen sometimes change size or style of their own free will, and bits of type relocate themselves in a similar fashion. Randomly, which according to most philosophy is just a concept that can never happen. No one told beta blogger. It's weird, but kind of trippy too, man.

However, I digress.

So.

Fucking Easy Jet and fucking Ryan Air (Dave, and others, I am so sorry).

The whole principal of these companies is beneath contempt. They ride on the back of the weakness of government to add VAT to aircraft fuel and therefore use companies like BA and the other big nationals, because for sure scum airlines such as Easy Jet and Ryan Air and others don't have the scale to take on our rulers and make them bend like willows, as BA and others do.
That's not making much sense.
What I mean is, if the big national airlines didn't argue the case about VAT, if it was left to the insignificant EJ and RA, our governing body (yes, even this lot of corrupt self-servers) would not bow before them. So, like foul smelling, disease breeding rats they scurry around the table of others, feeding off the scraps that fall from the richer plates above them. And yet they try to impress us by denigrating these same larger companies in public and try to bite off, or at least mortally infect with rabies or somesuch disease, the very hand that feeds them. Like I say, beneath (the table and) contempt.

Not only that, but they manipulate public opinion such that if I say anything unpleasant about Stelios Haji-Ioannou (bet that surprised you. And I know the Co Seccy is called Giles, And I know that it's really easyJet. And that they lost a court case over trademarks (something to do with iPods and Easy-Jet)) and how he is a skilled player who manipulates you to feel the way you do (if you luuuurve easyJet like so many other sheep do) you'll probably howl in derision and switch off. See, that's how clever he is. Like that lilly-livered actor manque Leo who was so unremittingly unpleasant in a kind of slack-jawed way to so many easyJet customers on that telly programme (what? oh, you luuuuurve him too? So sorry to offend. I only hope you never have to ask him for a bit of understanding, or help when you are off to a funeral or wedding or christening in some other country and made the STUPID mistake of using a budget airline). They use us. They use PR, they use opinion to make us think good things. And I hate being manipulated and just feel abused. In the end, we all hate an abuser. We have to before we can forgive them. I just hope that in this case we don't reach the forgiveness stage until after it is too late (Freddie Laker anyone?).

And so there they are, these rodent-like companies, emerging from their dank rotting holes to use the loophole created by others to jet millions of totally unnecessary miles, and vomit forth tons and tons of CO2 and, essentially, do their utmost to destroy as much as possible of this planet in as short a time as possible. But as long as their bank balances continue to grow (and their media profiles too), it's OK. I think they are so contemptible that mere English can not really allow me to do justice to how disgusted I am.

And Ryan Air (yeah, yeah Ryanair). That arsehole Michael Ryan. I hope he continues his court case against the government (but I'm betting he won't: this is the man who admitted that every time he gets any mention in the press, his ticket sales go up. Cynical? Him? YOU THINK?) and loses really really heavily (Dave, if you've made it this far, you'll be hating this. But you are a far far better man than I will ever be, and I'm OK with that, if you are?). I mean loses it all really. That would be satisfying. Less would be annoying. But he won't. He'll withdraw the case, or settle out of court, before it gets even close, and then watch him spin it so he's the hero. And up will go his ticket sales because we're all suckers who fall for it. Every bleeding time.
Some people will continue to believe in him. Although he charges them for breathing (well, almost) and prevents them from taking more than one case on board - doesn't that sound familiar? A bit like the government imposed restrictions? You know, the ones he suing about. Oh, how these people make me sick.

But they didn't start this. Well they did, but the rant in my head that's been banging around for days was stated by another fucker. By Tesco.

I was shocked. Yes, shocked. I mean shocked. I don't mean startled, or surprised. I mean shocked. Because I think it is shocking, and ill-conceived and very very poor thinking by Terry whatsit*** at Tesco. Now you can exchange your clubcard vouchers for airmiles, at a very favourable rate (probably). So, be grateful people. The extra points you earned on your lamb, flown all the way from New Zealand, or your beans, flown all the way from Kenya can go to, er, flying about the place and polluting the planet even more. Calculate the miles on your plate, then calculate the CO2 damage, and then how far you can go with the spending power you have because you're English and middle-class** to see how much damage you are doing. Maldives anyone? Bangladesh? Quickly, while they are still there. Hurry, hurry, book now to avoid disappointment. Last chance to see.

A good rant, and thanks for 'listening'. If you agreed with me even a tiny bit, don't you honestly truly think it's time that airlines paid for their fuel like everyone else does? I'm so tired of the imbalance (fostered by the deliberately false PR from scum companies such as those mentioned above) against and the hatred of the poor motorist, who really has little or no alternative, when so many millions of airline miles and so many million tonnes of airline pollution are generated for what? To satisfy some middle class urge to display our wealth in the most polluting and damaging way we can? It makes me sick, and I really would like to do something about it. So, if you agree with me, even a little bit, can't we all get together in the blogosphere and put our collective weight behind a movement to change opinion? I reckon we cold do it. There are millions of us, and only 650+ MPs. We can change the world if we really set our minds to it. And that would be worth doing. Especially if we managed to save it too.



* my new word for today.
** we're all middle class now. Get over it. The only thing the upper and lower classes have in common is that there aren't any left.
***yeah, yeah. Leahy.