Today is my yesterday. I am feeling rubbish (because of this) and so, as I wouldn't want anyone to pick up my bad vibe, here are a couple of jokes:
One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," She replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
A couple is lying in bed.
The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
17 comments:
This bloke goes to the zoo but when he gets there there's only this dog.
It was a shitzu.
Chap walks into bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says 'Darling, this is the pig I sleep with when I'm not with you'
Female head pokes out from under duvet and says 'I think you'll find that that is a sheep not a pig, you arse'
He replies "And I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you.
Oh ha ha. Word ver is nlamb!
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
(did we all get the same email over the weekend?)
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart
looks scarily like it. who do you know that I know ...etc?
Q: What do you call an ntelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh!
Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
(I don't think that one is as good)
ooh, the comment thingy is different here too. . .
missed your 10:49 as was still cutting and pasting from my inbox to your comment box, without reloading the page for updates
I have often wondered where these emails originate. . . presumably someone somewhere knows someone somewhere who knows you etc etc; maybe it follows those tree like mathematical models (ie not linear?)
sorry, have turned an amusing chain of comments into a rather boring synopsis on string theory
WV: hangs head in shame, goes back to sit in corner with FW hat on, leaving floor free for others to pick up where fuckkit left off
Minor correction to DCI comment:
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: The Beep
Oh, -the beep: you have such an amusing sense of humour...
I have quite missed it, your absense left a gaping hole in the blogging world; nice to see you back
(I did for a moment wonder if you actually have a life, but it seems not)
Personally, I can spot a good sense of humour a mile off; sadly today mine is about one hundred miles away - as I am not here, not there but somewhere else entirely (so no new postings at Nothing Much)
P&P
I wasn't all that aware of having gone anywhere. Still, an out of body experience is something new and possibly exciting. I just wish I could remember more about it P&P (post and packing - for my trip)
thanks for the giggle-I've heard most of those too but they still make me laugh!
what trip?
the on P&P seems to think I've been absent on
just catching up with your comments trail...
are you teasing me! were you not absent from the blogging world, albeit it temporarily? I didn't mention a trip though, did I? (but you mentioned Brussels at sometime in the not too recent past...)
P&P (perculiar and pedantic, perhaps)
No, I ain;t been no where missy, except where my minders let go.
And Brussles, I thought as Holly Golightly;s alter ego was from there it might be somewhere you would consider going...
I'm sure there's a joke in Altar ego, but perhaps it would go better on radio.
do you drink Pink Champagne too?
(actually, if you did you'd be thinking Annie Hall and she's from NYC) long time since I've seen BaT, might be time to reaquaint myself with it then I'd understand what you're talking to P&P about)
(not that it's any of my business, I'm just being nosey)
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