Oh Lor, I think there is about to be a death in the family. White van man is about to become just man again. White van is soon to be no more.
She, and, as it's just us I can be frank here, she is most definitely a she and even has a name, Jenny (see number plate), is due for a MOT on Feb 6th. I have just handed over the keys to the garage and told them to check it; if it fails I have three weeks left in which to say my goodbyes before driving her to White Horse Metals and ... well, let's draw a veil, shall we?
And fail she will. She's smoking more heavily now than at any time in her 19 years. Nineteen! I know, I know.
And ... I lent her to my office-mate who smacked her rear wing into oblivion. Foolishly I lent it to him a second time recently with stern warnings of not to do the same aga... but you are ahead of me, oh clever reader.
Of course he did, only on the other side. And 'forgot to tell me'. Yeah. Likely story. But what really grieves me is that he has done absolutely NOTHING about either of these transgressions. No filler, no action, no nothing. And that has upset me. If Jenny fails on smoking, then fine, but if she fails on bodywork then the only smoke will be coming out of my ears.
I have to say, and I know you are riveted by this lamentation, that it will be the smoking what does her, oh and a bit of play in the steering and other mechanical faults. And most likely of all is that the diesel pump needs replacing and that's £500 or more on a van worth, er, £400 quid or a bit more. It's a no brainer. I'll get my black tie.
She, and, as it's just us I can be frank here, she is most definitely a she and even has a name, Jenny (see number plate), is due for a MOT on Feb 6th. I have just handed over the keys to the garage and told them to check it; if it fails I have three weeks left in which to say my goodbyes before driving her to White Horse Metals and ... well, let's draw a veil, shall we?
And fail she will. She's smoking more heavily now than at any time in her 19 years. Nineteen! I know, I know.And ... I lent her to my office-mate who smacked her rear wing into oblivion. Foolishly I lent it to him a second time recently with stern warnings of not to do the same aga... but you are ahead of me, oh clever reader.
Of course he did, only on the other side. And 'forgot to tell me'. Yeah. Likely story. But what really grieves me is that he has done absolutely NOTHING about either of these transgressions. No filler, no action, no nothing. And that has upset me. If Jenny fails on smoking, then fine, but if she fails on bodywork then the only smoke will be coming out of my ears.
I have to say, and I know you are riveted by this lamentation, that it will be the smoking what does her, oh and a bit of play in the steering and other mechanical faults. And most likely of all is that the diesel pump needs replacing and that's £500 or more on a van worth, er, £400 quid or a bit more. It's a no brainer. I'll get my black tie.
-oOo-
Moving on;
Anyone got a white van for sale?
A man needs van, after all.
5 comments:
I have fellow feeling. For Jenny. Not only about the smoking but on the play in the steering and mechanical faults.
However, I don't think I have any problems with a diesel pump (mine's alcohol).
I wish her luck.
I'm not sure I have a liturgy for a van-funeral. I'm sure one could be devised though.
*Goes away to think up hymn-puns. There must be a hymn-line with the word 'Ford' in it somewhere. Probably related to the River Jordan.*
, a nice thought. Perhaps something along the lines of 'sic transit' might do it?
I am about to go and get the bad news....
"So" said Thursday, clutching the pearls round her neck "tell me the bad news!"
er, no money. That's the bad bit, he said eyeing up he pearls and valuing them in his head....
... the garage failed to take the vehicle in at the appointed hour last Thursday, Thursday (chortle). They promised yesterday. They failed. So today.... may be.
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